You can't always trust the body language experts when it comes to lying

I’ve always wanted to know when someone’s lying to me.

The appeal is obvious—catch the porky, protect yourself, stay one step ahead.

I remember standing in the schoolyard as a kid, holding a shiny, “rare” footy card I’d just swapped for a bunch of mine. The other kid swore it was valuable. Later that week, I found out it was basically worthless. I vowed I’d never be duped again. I was going to become a human lie detector.

That’s when I discovered "tells"—subtle body language and verbal cues that supposedly give liars away. Behaviours like:

• Fidgeting or scratching

• Avoiding eye contact (or staring too much)

• Speaking in a high-pitched voice

• Saying things like “to be honest” or “I swear”

• Gesturing with hands after speaking rather than during.

• Avoiding using the first person. Saying "Work ran late" instead of "I worked late."

According to the dodgier members of the body language community, these various behaviours are sign of deception.

Some, such as fidgeting or scratching, have little evidence to back up claims. And even those which are more accurate, verbal cues usually are just red flags, not hard evidence.

Numerous studies have shown that while a liar might be more like to exhibit these types of behaviours, there are still many other reasons for someone to act suspicious.

People might avoid eye contact because they’re shy or anxious. Someone might fidget because they’re uncomfortable, not because they’re lying. Neurodivergent folks—especially those with autism or ADHD—often show these behaviours naturally, without a single lie in sight. Autistic people are more like to be perceived as dishonest.

For example, someone with autism might speak in a flat tone or avoid eye contact not because they’re being deceptive, but because that’s how they process social interaction.

ADHD can make people interrupt, stumble over words, or lose their train of thought—not exactly textbook honesty cues, but nothing to do with lying either.

Body language can offer clues, but it’s not a lie detector.

It’s a starting point, not a conclusion. To truly uncover the truth, we need context, compassion, and a little less confidence in our gut.

Because sometimes, it’s not that someone’s hiding something—it’s just that we’re not reading the right signals.