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All magicians are liars

It is true, I can’t deny it: All magicians are liars. What’s more, I am a magician. Therefore, I am a liar.

But here is where things get annoying.

Because if I truly am a liar then when I say “All magicians are liars” I am lying.

Which means all magicians are not actually liars. Which means I am not liar. Which means I am telling the truth when I say that all magicians are liars.

If Pinocchio said “my nose is about to grow” what would happen?

If I tell you that my show has a surprise finale you won’t expect, what will happen at the end of the show now that you are expecting a surprise?

If I tell you I’ll reveal all of my secrets only if you can guess correctly whether or not I am going to reveal all my secrets, what do I do if you guess that I am not going to reveal all my secrets? If I reveal them, you were wrong and I shouldn’t have revealed them. But if I don’t, then you’re right and I should have revealed them.

I hate paradoxes. Or maybe I love them.

I don’t know.

My head hurts.

Or does it.

This is why no one likes magicians.

Or do they…

Nicholas J. Johnson is a Melbourne magician, author and collector of scams.

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