June28
Like Me On Facebook
I’ve dragged myself into the new millennium and set up a Facebook page.
Now, you can Like Me and write LOL and Epic and Fail etc.
Archive for June, 2011
June21
How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket
This was emailed to me by a listener of the Scam of The Week radio show.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too
June17
Three Disk Monte
I know, I know.
I’ve been promising the Three Disk Monte DVD and disk set for months.
After we reshot the DVD, we then shot some bonus material designed particularly for magicians.
The final cut is done and we are just waiting for our producer to return from the US so we can send the DVDs to print.
Once the DVD is finished, I can begin work on my other new project. A resource dedicated entirely to the Ten Card Poker Deal.
Watch this space.
June17
No Good Lying Werewolf
I have a confession to make.
Every couple of weeks I get together with a group of my friends and play the game ‘Werewolf’.
For the uninitiated, Werewolf is a party game in which two of the people in the room are secretly werewolves. This role is randomly selected by picking names out of hat. The rest of the group are villagers. It is the goal of the werewolves to kill as many villagers as possible and the goal of the villagers to stop them.
What I do for fun.
At the beginning of each round the werewolves choose a player to slaughtered. By the end of the round, the villagers must choose which of the group are the werewolves and lynch one person. If all of the villagers are slaughtered or accidentally lynch, the werewolves win.
There is no board or pieces or turns. Essentially, the game revolves around a group of adults shouting rash accusations and spouting paranoid theories at one another trying to decide which of the group is really a Twilight extra.
But that is not the confession.
The confession is that I am not very good at Werewolf.
I am almost always slaughtered in the very first round of lynching.
The problem is that my friends assume that I am liar. After all, I’m Australia’s Honest Con Man. I lie and cheat for a living. I’m supposedly an expert on such matters. I clearly can’t be trusted.
If my defense is weak, my friends see this as proof that I am lying and hang me up by my metaphorical neck.
If my defense is convincing, my friends see this as proof because, only a really good liar would make such a compelling argument.
Regardless of what I do, I always find myself sitting out the rest of the game.
Just a little game among friends
So what’s the lesson? Am I just a terrible liar? No, I’m quite a good liar. Outside of the game, I convince my friends all sorts of ridiculous stories. For example, I’m currently trying to spread the rumour that Chinese people eat Venus Fly Traps but, due to pollution in China, the species is dying out leading to a growth in the Australian Venus Fly Trap market. After all, we have so many flies here.
In reality, people see a lie when they are looking for one. Regardless of whether the person is telling the truth or not. According to a study by Richard Wiseman in his book Quirkology, most people’s ability to spot a lie is no better than luck. But if we believe someone is lying, we find all sorts of evidence to prove that claim. We see twitching fingers, darting eyes and sweaty brows because we need to.
It’s why, when we hear about the latest scams and swindles that we can’t believe someone would actually fall for that lie. We are looking for the lie and so we see it clearly.
In short, I’ll never be good at Werewolf because my friends know I am not to be trusted. And without a solid lead or piece of evidence to go on, they do what everyone does in that situation, they lynch the dodgy looking guy.
I’m not a werewolf, I’m a scapegoat.
At least, that’s what I want you to believe…
Besides, I don’t have the six pack to be a werewolf
June16
Lawrence Leung’s Unbelievable
Around eighteen months ago, comedian Lawrence Leung had me as a guest on his radio show.
At the time, he mentioned that he was working a new, top secret television show for ABC television.
Since there, I’ve heard whispers about the show from those involved.
Mentalist Banachek said he had a small role. Magician Tim Ellis admitted to being involved in a scene in Thai restaurant. I kept getting updates from Lawrence saying he was in San Fransisco and then Las Vegas and then Scotland.
After his last, TV series, Choose Your Own Adventure, I was excited.
Now, finally, the show has been revealed, it is called Unbelievable and it’s a six part comedy series in which Lawrence investigates psychics, UFOs, haunted houses and magic.
I went to the launch party last night and the crowd went wild for it. The show screens every Wednesday at 9:30 on ABC.
If you love the show, you might also enjoy my show about critical thinking for high school students, The Bad Science Show.
June6
The Variety Collective
I’m hosting a fantastic show on Wednesday night Open Studio in Northcote.
The show features the following great performers:-
EL BELLA - Who promises to bring her staple gun.
JACK DAN - Who promises NOT to do his one man naked ukulele act.
LUKE HOCKING - Who promises to perform some awesome magic.
TOSH GREENSLADE - Who promises to be very funny.
The show kicks off at 7:00. All Tickets are $10.